Friday, December 09, 2005

Mistress and sub

For some the terms Mistress and sub conjurs negative images of selfishness and helplessness, however while I acknowledge instances likley do occur, I do not agree this needs to be the case.

In becoming a Mistress or a Domme, one takes on the responsibilities of both parties, for a Domme leads the play. Pleasure is brought about by her actions and requests. A sub does not simply obey because they must, any more than a man cums because he must, but rather because of a deep desire for release, to give oneself to pleasure for pleasure.

I have been honoured by my sub's loyalty. I honour my sub in turn through rewards of pleasure and play, for a Mistress knows her sub's desires and fantasies, guiding both through the intertwined path of mutual desire and pleasure.

In discussions of D/s, talk soon arrives on the topic of punishment. Punishment, in my books, is done to allow for the relationship to continue on a level of trust. If trust has been broken, it needs to be mended by an act displaying trust.

Firstly, I will clarify, "pain" in the sense of intense stimulation can be pleasure for one person, and unpleasant for another. It is a Domme's job to know what brings pleasure to her sub (e.g., pull on my sub's nipples) and including it when it fits in play. I do not agree with using negative pain if it becomes neccessary to punish.

Instead I prefer denying, be it limitations on certain types of play, on cumming, or other desired activities. The limitations are ones related to the break in trust. For example, if a sub cums when they have been requested not to and it reasonable to expect the sub to not, then a restriction on cumming can teach the sub that they can last and it demonstrates their committment to listening to requests. On the otherside, punishment of this sort allows a sub to feel relieved of guilt, in the same way apologizing and being foregiven by a friend, or mending a broken promise can help us to feel relieved.

Simply phrased, my personal goal as a Domme, is the say as a bring pleasure, to explore, and to playfully interact with an intersting person.


Anonymous poppy said...

you have given me alot of advice in your page. as a rule Im the sub and my master is nny, but as we both switch i wish to become a better dom for him. thank you for your simple words they have helped better than anything else ive seen so far. :)

7:30 a.m.  
Anonymous fred said...

this male would a Master and Mistress

12:30 a.m.  

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